Diary of an (ex)London mum

I must be the luckiest Mum on earth as Baby seems to have taken to solids really well, just as he has taken to all the changes associated with me going back to work full time.  He has remained his happy self and it seems he is enjoying being at creche where he is receiving lots of attention and stimulation.   Although I have been trying with the odd bit of fruit puree at home before I started back at work, I was a bit hesitant in case I gave him too much to eat.  Also, he tended to ask for milk when he was with me and could get a bit cranky if he didn't get that but some fruit instead.  It was the patience and experience of the staff at the creche, and probably my general absence during the day, that really helped him to move on to solids.  All the food is prepared fresh on site and they keep me informed of what he has tried.  So far (he's 7.5 months old and has been on solids for a month) there doesn't seem to be anything that he particularly di...

Not going back to work after having a baby was not an option.  We would get by financially but I would resent having to give up my career and be dependent on my partner.  Ultimately a happy mother makes a happy baby and we thought my going back to work after 6 months, when Baby has had at least the minimum recommended period when he is exclusively on breast milk, was the sensible thing to do.  Having been back at work for almost a month, I can confirm that this is the right decision for me.  I have to be super organised to fit everything in, and this is with lots of help from my very understanding partner, but it is worth the effort. In order for me to be able to return to work we needed to find a creche for him during the day.  This would be somewhere for him effectively 9 to 5 every week day so it was a priority for us to find somewhere that would be nice for him.  The creche at work has an excellent reputation and I put my name down for a place as ...

The London 2012 Olympics have come and gone and being Londoners with a big interest in sports, especially volleyball, my partner and I invested in volleyball tickets for the event as soon as these were made available to the British public.  We were fortunate enough to get some in the first round and then again when tickets were made available during resale before and during the Olympics.  We also got some football tickets as an after-thought; these were not selling well, so were relatively easy to come by and we thought it would be nice to watch  a game in Wembley.   We didn't know when we got the majority of the tickets that we would have a baby by the time the Olympics came to town; we had hoped we would have one but we didn't factor this in when we bought the tickets.  News that Baby might have needed his own ticket to attend the events were unwelcome: how were we going to get tickets in the same area for him?  It would have been expensive an...

One of the first activities that I wanted to be involved in after the birth was yoga.  I have always liked yoga, especially as relaxation after a run, but my practice has dwindled as I decreased my running due to a bad knee and from getting more involved in youth sport development in my spare time.  I thought yoga would be a good way for me to regain the use of my body after the birth and looked up classes on the internet.  There is no shortage of mum and baby yoga classes in London; in the end I chose one run by yogatherapy as it was easy for me to get to.  I love the yoga- it does what is needed for me physically- and it is a great way to spend time doing something fun with Sprog.  The teacher incorporates actions that keep the babies engaged in the yoga moves for mums, and there are specific exercises for the babies in each class.  She is also flexible with how the class is run such that the proportion of crying/sleeping/feeding babies are taken into ...

I am an academic.  This is a challenging job and to stay alive within the profession we very often allow work to spill into our private time, i.e. we essentially do not have time off.  I won't discuss what I think of this state of affairs in this blog but only brought it up as my work spills in to my maternity leave which is something that may interest the readers here.  It would be good to hear from you if you have anything to say about your work and how it has/hasn't affected your maternity leave.   I have effectively worked from home, rather than taken time off, in the last six months even though this is not reflected in my pay-check.  I am grateful for the help my mother gave me over the last few months- I would not have been able to do what is required of me at work and look after a new born if she had not been around.  I have stayed fairly relaxed throughout this time and now that Sprog is older and we are more settled I am better able to c...

We are keen climbers and, from the start of parenthood, we found the idea of carrying Baby in a baby carrier that is essentially a very good harness system, akin to our trusted rucksacks, appealing.  We thought, rather than carry him in our arms when he needed comfort, it would save us from hurting ourselves from carrying weight in bad posture if we carried him in a baby carrier instead.  We investigated what was available on the market and decided to go for a BabyBjorn Miracle .  Sprog loved being carried in it from birth and we love carrying him in it.  He often falls asleep while he is in the carrier, probably liking the rocking motion and the proximity to another human being. Sprog is now 4 months old and has graduated to being carried in his baby carrier facing forwards.  This offers him an opportunity to look at things around him while still feeling safe.  Lately he has taken to lunging in the direction of whatever interests him, which makes it ...

Let me start by saying that I have never been judgmental about people with babies crying in public.  I seldom noticed fussy babies until someone pointed one out- I wasn't interested in babies until I had my own-or, if I did notice one, didn't regard it as my problem and didn't think much more about it.   Sprog is generally a quiet crier; he is quite calm and doesn't really cry that much but when he does its not that loud.  We drew the long straw with this one.  However, his cries seem much louder when we are in public.  They aren't actually louder- my mother told me so- but I am probably more aware of them because they might disturb other people.  I do get stressed when I cannot stop him immediately, which probably makes his crying session longer.  Taking him on public transport can be a bit daunting because of the potential for him to decide he'd cry in a confined space with less potential for escape.  The prospect of him screaming his...

I have previously had trouble getting seats on public transport while I was pregnant.  The occasions when someone offered me a seat were rare and I think TFL need to rethink how they enforce priority seating if they want to be truly friendly to all travellers.  I can attempt to be understanding of the lack of lifts in some stations- this may be due to the cost/difficulties in the installation of lifts in an old underground system.  It is still an excuse and a truly modern transport system should have these facilities to be inclusive but I can see that a straightforward resolution is unavailable.  Enforcing priority seating does not require infrastructure changes so there is very little reason to do nothing about it. The reason I am bringing this up is because I travelled on public transport today to test the route to work with Sprog in a baby carrier- this was to avoid having to carry a pushchair up steps at my destination station.  On the way home, two ot...

I read this article in the Guardian last night and was fairly alarmed by it because my personal experiences of renting, albeit not hellishly horrible, somewhat reflect the article's main points.  I rented for over 15 years as a student and then as a working professional in the U.K.  Rent accounted for half or more of my monthly expenditure in both cases.  I chose not to share with anyone because I needed the space and the freedom to work at all hours without disturbance, and in a way I was paying such that I did not have to deal with the problems associated with flat sharing.  This requirement for personal space was non-negotiable for me as I wanted to focus on developing my career, and the fact that I am in a position to own a property now has much to do with this dedication to my professional development: being in my job enabled me to get a mortgage.  However, renting for 15 years meant I did not have much savings and so I am a 'minority stakeholder' in our...

I was driving to purchase a high chair for Baby and was, as usual, listening to BBC Radio 4, my favourite radio channel, when I heard an interview of Kishwar Desai on her book on surrogacy in India, Origins of Love.  It shocked me deeply, I suspect more so now that I have a little one of my own.  The desire for people to have a child may push them to do things that they might not necessarily consider as otherwise correct; whilst there is nothing wrong with surrogacy, practices that infringe on the basic rights of the surrogate mother should not be allowed.  Truly shocking. This book is now next on my reading list.

I think anyone that has a baby will tell you that it is astonishing how quickly they seem to learn things.  Lately I have been watching Sprog and been thinking a lot about nature versus nurture.  I am sure in the end it must be a balance of the two but I can't help to think that a lot of things must be, at least on a basic level, by instinct.   I do try to expose him to new stimuli by involving him in my activities as much as possible.  He is never left behind: he is with me wherever I go and whatever I do and I try to show him as much of what I am doing as possible.  However, he cannot possibly understand why things are being done or what is being done yet.  In the first instance it must just be the urge to copy what he sees.  He has learnt, for example, that I like playing a game with him where I put our feet together, underside of my feet to his, and I nudge his legs in different directions.  He responds by trying to exert pressure h...

Its 11 weeks since Baby was born.  Today, for the first time since birth, Baby was not well: he threw up what appears to the contents of his stomach from the morning feed.  This was not a leak; this was proper vomiting.  It was very alarming to watch and we were worried as a quick look on the internet indicated that vomiting plus refusal to feed was something that we needed to be worried about: Baby has been refusing formula for the last two days even though he was quite happy to have breast milk.  We did manage to get him to have 100 ml of formula first thing in the morning this morning but he had then steadily rejected it and seemed to be hungry for milk two hours or so after.  And then came the vomiting.  This consisted of milk that didn't look very digested.  We called our clinic and was put through to the out-of-hours GP on duty this weekend.  She was very kind, asked us a number of (expectedly) pertinent questions and then told us not to w...

I come from a close knit family of four and our modus operandi has always been that we would help each other as much as possible when necessary.  We stay in close contact, always talk about events within our own lives, and try to solve problems together through discussions and offers of support.  Naturally my parents and sister wanted to help me as much as they could with the pregnancy and then with Sprog.  My parents live abroad and my mother came to stay with us to help with Baby.  She arrived a week before the birth, was one of my birth partners and then stayed on for two months to help look after Baby and me.  We are very grateful for her help throughout this period and to be honest I don't think I would have recovered as quickly if she hadn't been there.  It was good to have her for company while I was adjusting to motherhood.  Her presence also made enough time and opportunities for me to do little chores at home and the occasional thing for wo...

I recently had the opportunity to leave the house to do some chores and leave Baby at home with Daddy.  This was a nerve-wracking experience; I trust my partner but it would be the first time that he would be left with the care of Baby entirely to himself.  To be fair he does a lot to help us even though I am on maternity leave and should, theoretically, take on the bulk of the care of Baby over the next few months.  However, my partner wants to be part of Baby's life and being involved, as much as possible, in Baby's everyday care is important.  After all that is a way to spend time with Baby and to ensure he recognises one as a person that is integral to his wellbeing and fun to be around. The chore involved me being out of the flat for three to four hours.  This meant that my partner would have to be involved in at least one feeding and nappy changing session entirely on his own, very probably with a crying baby on one or more of those occasions.  ...

People told me that going out with a baby makes you a prime target for conversation with other mums and random people who want a chat.  I didn't quite expect the frequency with which this occurred; we are in the U.K. and the British are allegedly more reserved.  Not it seems when it comes to babies, which is actually rather endearing. I expected to chat to other mums who are out and about with their babies.  We are in the same boat, so to speak, and that kind of gives you the right to at least smile at each other in mutual understanding.  I have spoken with a number of mums about their sprogs and what they were out doing and as a result gotten some useful information.  For example, I found out from one wet-looking mum and baby that there was a pool nearby offering Aquatot (baby swimming) classes.  I had searched online but not found the one they were at; this is hugely convenient because 1) its closer than the one I found, and 2) there are sessions ev...

Like most mothers I have been told by the medical professionals that breastfeeding offers Baby the best possible start in life.  I have read the literature and believe that the evidence for this is indeed strong and so decided that I will breast feed.  After the inital difficult sessions to establish good feeding rapport between Baby and I, breastfeeding in the comfort of one's own home became a very natural thing to do.  It was great to spend time with Baby and the fact that I was providing him with food helped cement our relationship very early on in his life.  I was wary of breast feeding in public and devised a plan to help me ease into it gently. I have been keeping an eye out for women breast feeding while out and about in the weeks leading up to the birth.  I have seen people who were quite unfazed by having to breastfeed on show, others who hid their babies and breasts from view using large scarves, and others which bottle-fed (not sure if it was b...

Baby is now five weeks old and from about three weeks our evenings have been disturbed by what we think is colic.   I had no idea what colic was before I became pregnant and, to be honest, I don't think I know exactly what it is now either.  The descriptions all cite continuous crying at a particular time of day which may be associated with any number of things.  For Baby, we decided that it might have something to do with gas as the crying is normally accompanied by quite a lot of twisting around and then farting and/or pooing, after which he calms down for a bit until the next 'attack'.  I had heard that gas could be a problem with younger babies so had bought anti-colic bottles that have air valves to help Baby avoid taking in too much air while he's drinking.  I don't think his crying is that bad- I've heard descriptions of worse colic- so the bottles probably are helping.  My other half, who does the lion's share of nappy changing, gives hi...

Its a month since the caesarean and I have found it hard to be out and about for too long at a stretch, let alone carry shopping so I have been doing almost all my shopping online.  My partner has been helping with the odd bits and pieces on his way home but there is just too much we need, for Baby and us, for him to be doing it all himself. The main thing is groceries.  We are getting through nappies, baby formula, washing up tablets, detergent and Napisan very quickly as Baby's needs are many in number.  Fortunately the delivery service from Waitrose has been very reliable and efficient.  I have shopped for groceries online from a different supermarket chain before when I had injured my foot and not been able to get out and about.  The problems occurred when the items chosen were not available.  If one chose not to have substitutes, one could find oneself without a potentially crucial item until the next delivery or without a number of things and t...

Like any logical consumer we looked into our options for items that we bought for Baby.  One of the first things we looked into was nappies.  We were concerned about the number of disposable nappies that a baby could get through in the period when it would require the use of nappies- hardly environmentally friendly.  We looked into reusable nappies and although we were attracted to the idea we decided against them in the end bacause of the cost and inconvenience.  There is a signfiicant investment to be made intially in the purchase of the reusable nappies and then in the purchase of disposable inserts which take up the worst of the solid waste and can be flushed down the toilet.  The reusable nappies can be washed first by hand and then in the washing machine, or sent for washing by a hospital grade nappy washing service; the former was too much effort for working parents and the latter involved a significant cost and was not that convenient to use.  We ...

We decided while we were planning to have a baby that we would attempt breast feeding as that is possibly the best start we could give to Baby when s/he emerges from the womb.  In fact I had planned more than to attempt it; I was determined to breast feed as there is much evidence that this is beneficial for Baby and as a mother one would want to do the best for one's offspring(s).  We read up about breast feeding on as many websites and in as many books as we could get our hands on, and spoke with the midwives at the ante-natal classes regarding positioning etc and thought that we knew enough to get us going.  We didn't pack any feeding bottles into our hospital bag, thinking we won't need any, fully expecting the breasts to do the job. Turned out breast feeding was much harder than the books or midwives made it out to be.  My nipples took a battering and Baby was extremely hungry so we spent the first day struggling to keep him calm with just breast milk....

I don't think I will ever understand why people choose to have a C-section.  Its three weeks since the operation and I am only feeling slightly more human now.  Different people recover at different rates; the doctor said not to be a hero and try to do too much too soon, give myself at least six weeks for normality to set in.  It may of course be because I had the C-section as an emergency and was therefore unprepared for the aftermath.  If this had been my chosen method of birth we might have made more preparations for the period of my incapacity after the procedure and, therefore, transition back to normal life would probably have been smoother.  Even small things like getting into and out of bed without causing myself grief were things that required some thought.  Not a small matter when one needs to get up several times in the night to check on Baby.  And that's just one of many small everyday things that are not easy to do after the C-section. ...

We camped out at the hospital in the week following the birth of Sprog so that the two of us could be monitored by hospital staff.  We were fortunate enough to be able to rent a private room and so my partner stayed with us during the first week of his paternity leave.  I cannot say enough times how valuable his round-the-clock care was, as were the daily visits by Mum to bring us clean clothes and other creature comforts.  The hospital staff were very helpful but there was only so much they could do with the hospital being so busy and short-staffed at times.  For one, my bed was a bit too high for me even on its lowest settings and getting on and off it was difficult.  I also couldn't bend or carry anything so he had to help me and baby with just about everything.  This meant he didn't really sleep for a week and he never lost his temper at us; he did get angry at the hospital staff on a few occasions when things didn't get done on time- e.g. the time wh...

I had wanted a natural birth but it was not to be.  Never in the 40 weeks leading up to the event did I imagine that I would end up having a Caesarean section.  I had been so well during the pregnancy that I just thought that the birth would be plain sailing as well.  In the end the C-section itself, and the induction, epidural and continuous foetal monitoring before that, did not worry me that much but the fact that Baby might be unwell, as a result of the ordeal from the birth, in the week after was worse.  There was quite a lot of banter in the theater and time passed quite quickly amidst the good humour.  It was slightly surreal to know that one was undergoing surgery, and feel the pressure from the procedure happening behind the blind in one's lower half, but to not really 'feel' the procedure.  Also my partner was with me and the support I felt from everyone around me made me feel surprisingly relaxed about the surgery itself.  As it was ov...

Sorry for the radio silence but I've been busy giving birth and recovering from the experience.  Sprog arrived on his predicted due date in the second week of March 2012 but the manner in which he arrived could not have been further from what we had in mind. The last nine months were pretty easy- I've had no sickness and generally very little discomfort, worked up to a week before my due date (and then stopped only because my Mum was visiting and I wanted to spend some time with her), and every meausured parameter was within the normal limits.  I did have a feeling that Baby would arrive on time and had prepared my birth plan with the expectation that everything would happen as planned- the pregnancy had been so easy there was no reason for me to suspect the birth would be complicated.  I could not be more wrong. We had kept the birth plan fairly flexible, as advised by the midwives, but our preference was for a natural birth with as little intervention as possi...

Woke up this morning with a sensation that my waters have broken.  Being a first time mum, I had no idea how much water to expect and the books gave a range of volumes which didn't really help me decide whether my impression was correct.  So, erring on the safe side and taking the mid-wives' advice, I called the birth clinic to ask and they told me to go in for a check up.  This turned out to be the perfect opportunity to test the route to the birth clinic from home; you would probably have guessed from the blog title that I was not ready to give birth on this occasion. A number of fortuitous errors helped us along.  In the first instance, my partner thought I was going to the doctor's clinic rather than the birth clinic- not sure why he thought that since I told him who I had called, or why he thought that would be appropriate in any case.  So he took the quickest route to the doctor's clinic with me thinking he had chosen it because there were roadworks ...

... was a bit of a disappointment in that it didn't happen.  It was a rainy day in London yesterday and I thought it would be a good idea to spend it doing something indoors.  So I thought I'd pick up the car and go to the country's most popular furniture store to have a look at a few things that we needed for the flat- we are still shifting things around and redoing bits-and-pieces to fit around Baby's claim on his own room.  The hire cars nearest to me are visible from my flat window and as far as I can tell they didn't budge at all yesterday.  Yet they were shown to be unavailable on the reservations website.  I didn't fancy walking to the next nearest car(s) as it was chucking it down with rain and I would most probably have been soaked by the time I got to it so gave up on the idea of furntiture shopping.  Was it a blip on the website or were both cars reserved but not used by the hirers?  How often does this happen? Well, its a beautiful, s...

First day on maternity leave.  Well, technically I am on annual leave because I decided to stop work a week early- the sore wrist and fingers have made it rather difficult to concentrate at work so I thought I might as well stop and try to do something less taxing.   Today's task is to go shopping for nursing tops.  I have already had a brief look online yesterday and found some interesting looking tops from various online stores.  I quite liked what I saw on this one .  Although I now do have quite a lot of time on my hands, and can afford to spend a bit of it on this, I don't really want to immerse myself fully in nursing top purchasing and would prefer to have bought what I needed by the end of the day.  In fact, I have come up with a list of 'tasks' for myself for the next six months.  Most people I have spoken with have said they found themselves so busy with looking after their babies that they didn't have time to do anything else....

Its two weeks till my due date and three days till I go on leave.  In the last few days I have been feeling some tingling on my fingertips and pain in my wrists; today my hands swelled up and I left work early to see a doctor.  I don't have any other symptoms of pre-eclampsia so I thought it probably wasn't that, but it did look a bit like carpal tunnel syndrome , which can occur late in pregnancy.  I thought it wise to have it checked out just to be sure.  We've invested 8+ months of our lives to keep this baby safe, i.e. it would have been ridiculous to take a gamble on a guess.  I've been told everything is fine- normal for this stage of pregnancy- and to keep an eye on it in case it turns red and painful.  Doesn't make it more comfortable but at least my mind is at ease.  For all the criticism aimed at the NHS regarding their lack of efficiency, I was seen by a doctor within an hour of calling the clinic.  In fact I have always had attentio...

Perhaps I am imagining this, or perhaps I am more aware of all things to do with babies because I am pregnant,  but there seems to be an awful lot of fly-on-the-wall programmes, TV series, etc on the box about having children and parenting.  Currently in the news, rising childcare costs in the U.K. is also taking up much column space in the daily press.  It seems procreation is taking center stage, or nearly center stage, in these times of economic turmoil. Yesterday an article in the Guardian looked at the implications of the 5.8 and 3.9 % increase in childcare costs in 2009- 2010 and 2010-2011, respectively, in relation to the 0.3 % increase in salary over the same period, and the changes in tax credit, for working parents.  The title and punch line were slightly irritating but the article itself was interesting; well worth a read. Childcare is of course a concern for us at the moment.  I will be returning to work after six months of maternity leave...

Two weeks to my due date and one week of work left.  Can't wait to meet Sprog after months of incubation and preparation.  So far its been relatively plain sailing- no major health issues, interesting commute to work with some good experiences and some not so good , preparations for work (or rather stopping work to go on maternity leave) have been relatively smooth- and I have enjoyed my time with Sprog as a constant companion.  He has certainly developed more of a personality as he has grown and the last few months have been quite good fun.  Being generally well and relaxed probably did help; having a partner that encourages and supports me to stick with my usual routine as much as possible certainly helped.  Life has stayed normal.  I have been almost militant in my desire to stay as independent as possible, especially at work.  So far my only allowance has been a slight change in my work hours to avoid the worst of the rush periods, i.e. I ha...