Life at home after a C-Section

I don't think I will ever understand why people choose to have a C-section.  Its three weeks since the operation and I am only feeling slightly more human now.  Different people recover at different rates; the doctor said not to be a hero and try to do too much too soon, give myself at least six weeks for normality to set in.  It may of course be because I had the C-section as an emergency and was therefore unprepared for the aftermath.  If this had been my chosen method of birth we might have made more preparations for the period of my incapacity after the procedure and, therefore, transition back to normal life would probably have been smoother.  Even small things like getting into and out of bed without causing myself grief were things that required some thought.  Not a small matter when one needs to get up several times in the night to check on Baby.  And that's just one of many small everyday things that are not easy to do after the C-section.

We are three adults looking after one baby at the moment so the situation is not desperate.  However, of the three people, I have been the most active in acquiring equipment and planning the day-to-day care for Baby, and was the only person who knew where everything was kept and how everything was supposed to work.  I had planned to take care of Baby mostly myself but the operation meant that it was physically difficult for me to do most things while we're settling in to life at home.  Transmitting the information was not straightforward as Baby's needs are fairly constant and immediate.  So far there has been some new development every day and we are pretty much playing things by ear.  Fortunately the equipment I bought are working well- as long as I can pass instructions to my Mum and Partner calmly and coherently.  Not always as easy as it sounds as I had a fair amount of discomfort in the early days, am tired from nursing baby and trying to do even the smallest of things and, therefore, fairly irritable.  

My Partner has been very calm about it all and has accomodated Baby's and my needs despite our constant, often not patiently requested, requirement for help with just about everything.  Mum has been very helpful but things have sometime been fraught between us as she has her own ideas as to how Baby and I should be cared for, from her own experience, and her ideas don't always coincide with mine.  She has our well-being as top of her priority, and most of the things she recommended do work well, but some of her methods are outdated/no longer recommended.  Getting her to understand the latter and to change her ways has been a struggle.  This is partly because it is rarely open dissent but rather a tacit reluctance to do things differently and therefore a lessening of the effectiveness of those actions through delays, etc.  We have had a few exchanges over these disagreements but that is healthy, as far as I am concerned, as we both learn this way.  What I have picked up from books have not always been effective, and it is good to bounce ideas and discuss with someone else who has been through it before.  Mum is much less comfortable with confrontation than I am, and this has probably been a new experience for her.  I think it has been a positive one as she has shown herself that she can be brave and fight for what she believes in: Baby's well-being has given her that strength.  I guess that's what living a life is about.

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