Diary of an (ex)London mum

Sometimes clarity comes from the most unusual of circumstances.  One of my job roles is to help students who find themselves in difficulties- either emotionally or academically.  The idea is that I talk through the issues with the students and offer practical help (counselling, financial advice, study skills workshops, etc) either myself or by signposting to services offered by my institution, so that the problems are resolved and the students can get back on track with their studies.  In speaking with the students I sometimes catch myself thinking, well I say that to them but I manage to practise what I preach?  In some ways talking to the students, and reflecting on my own experiences, has helped me understand myself a bit better and focus my mind on how best to handle problems that I encounter. One example is friendships.  I listen to the stories of conflict between friends making life at university difficult and find myself thinking well if the relations...

Getting out of bed in the morning is harder than waking up.  Particularly in the winter months when it is nice and warm in bed, its much nicer to be protected by the duvet from the cold than to have to struggle into a robe that has been left out in the cold.  Having a shower is nice; coming out of the shower is not.  In contrast to all this, walking out of the house into the cold, crisp morning is rather pleasant.  Being woken up by natural light and having your head cleared by chilled air is a good way to start the day.  So much so that it is worth walking a little distance to a bus stop a bit further away from my usual one, just to be able to enjoy this for a while longer.  There are a number of schools down my street and its cheering to hear the sounds of children chatting and laughing on their way to lessons.  An extra 5 minutes of pleasure before its time to focus on the day ahead.  This is my favourite time of the year.

In the run up to the start of the new school year, I talked about various things we did to prepare Baby for school.  This is his first year in school and part of our preparation involved preparing him for the move.  Followers of this blog will know that Baby has been in nursery from a very young age.  He is used to spending time with nursery teachers and other children, with significant chunks of the day during the working week away from us.  He is, therefore, also used to being dropped off and picked up by us at the start and end of the day, respectively.  There has never been any trauma at drop-off or pick-up.  As school will have a very similar routine, we did not expect him to have huge problems settling in.  Indeed he has settled in very well and he loves school. Our major concern, in the run up to the start of term was that he would miss nursery.  He had spent the best part of 4 years at the same place, surrounded by people that he had gr...

Baby started at reception at the beginning of September and we were told to expect homework in his book bag.  This was going to be predominantly phonics work in the first half-term as the teachers are concentrating on reading skills at the beginning of the school year.  We were briefed on the teaching system they would use at the parent's evening and waited for the first piece of assignment. This did eventually come in the second week and there were two bits of work to do.   One was a worksheet which contained words which relate to a particular alphabet and the sound(s) that are associated with the alphabet.  There were a couple of lines for writing practice and a picture to colour in.  The second piece of work was a little book of words which Baby was supposed to read himself using his phonics skills.  Associated with the book of words is a record book on which we were to note how we thought Baby did.  We thought both pieces of work were for a week...

Baby started Reception about a month ago and so far his reaction to school has been very positive.  He loves going there, loves his teacher, and has made friends.  There has been a class election and he was elected class representative of for the school council.  I am not sure he understands what that means but I am trying to explain to him that there is job description (albeit brief) for the position and that is to help with organising e.g. charity drives etc.  He will get it evenutally but right now he thinks all it means is he has to wear a badge to school.  I am really happy that the school has chosen to mimic society at large by organising elections even for young kids.  Overall I am impressed by the school's general attitude that kids will rise to the challenge if you give them something to do, with appropriate guidance where necessary.  I think children behave better when adults treat them as equals rather than speak down to them all the time. ...

Having kids and finding time to do sports may not always be compatible.  I felt guilty about not spending my limited spare time with Baby and so chose to spend all of it with him rather than do sports (which was a big part of my life prior to the pregnancy).  He is older now and is showing interest in all kinds of activities so the opportunities to do sports with him are arising,  One side effect of his increasing interest in sports, is the loss of the weight that I gained since I had him, which can only be described as a win-win situation. We started running a few months ago.  I read about Junior Parkrun on the web while following up a news story about a local council charging Parkrun (an adult 5 km run managed by volunteers to promote healthy living) for their weekly runs in a park near Bristol.  The junior events are suitable for children from 4, and involve a 2 km run in a local park.  The atmosphere at our local event is fantastic and Baby enjoys r...

Portugal is a popular holiday destination and is actually very family friendly.  This summer we gave the Algarve a miss as it is normally very crowded and incredibly hot, and headed north to the fishing town of Peniche.  Beautiful beaches, lovely hotels (we stayed at the MH ), and great food, just an hour's drive from Lisbon.  It is much quieter than almost anywhere in the Algarve, the temperature was hot but not searing, and was perfect for a quiet holiday.  The nearby cliffs at the point of the peninsula were spectacular and, as is common with fishing towns, there was a Summer fair celebrating Our Lady (in this case Nossa Senhora da Boa Viagem/Our Lady of Fair Voyage) which is associated with the sea-faring nature of the place.  There is also the island of Berlengas, a nearby island classified as a protected site of natural beauty.  We didn't make it there ourselves as we couldn't get a ticket on the ferry but I am told it is a good place for a day trip....

For a few years now I have been able to plan my work around the weekend such that it was rarely necessary to head to the office even if there was work to be done- the internet makes working from home incredibly easy.  This weekend was one of those rare occasions when I had to do the commute, and on one of the days I did the commute with Baby as my husband was not available for childcare.  In my experience, the location of work and the availability of entertainment via the internet make all the difference.  I used to work very near the Natural History Museum  so we visited the museum at lunch on the weekends when I had to take Baby with me.  The advantage was that we had a quiet place- my office- to escape from the madness that is the museum area, where we can sit down and have a snack on the sofa in the coffee space or use a clean toilet without having to queue for ages. Work is now by  Wormwood Scrubs Park  and the park is a fantastic place for a l...

This is a fantastic book and a must have for anyone with kids that love animals-which is possibly just about anyone with kids.  I first saw the rave reviews of this book when I was shopping for children's Christmas presents, put it on a list of items that I would like to investigate further, forgot about it, and then it caught by eye while I was browsing the shop at the Museum of Childhood (which incidentally is a great place to visit if you are passing through London and fancy something a bit off the beaten track).  The pictures are brilliant and Baby is absolutely fascinated by the tree of life at the start of the book.  A great way to start a deeper discussion about us and how we relate to the other living organisms on the planet.  Baby instinctively brings up things we have read in the book when he spots a creature while we are out or if he sees something on TV which maps on to something we have read in the book.  Good for adults and kids, totally recomme...

When I went back to work after Baby I was determined to find a work life balance so that he would not feel neglected.  That meant being focussed at work so that the tasks that needed to be completed were done on time and there would be minimal work taken home.  To avoid working at home altogether was impossible but making sure that home time was time focussed on family is important.  This took away some of the guilt from leaving Baby in nursery from 6 months of age- I get to do my career things but when I am home I am totally there for him and my husband.  To a large extent that has worked well as I knew my job quite well, knew what to expect and was able to plan ahead. However, I felt that I needed a bit of challenge at work to spice things up a bit.  Familiar things are easier to manage but can get a bit stale.  So I recently took up a bit more responsibility at work and have been taking work home a bit more than usual.  So far I have managed to s...

The sun has come out to play and the city has come alive with outdoor activities galore.  There are numerous free outdoor art events around town- e.g. we went to a choir performance at a park near us this weekend and there will be a performance by the London Philharmonic in the coming week.  A quickly prepared home-made picnic, sun cream and then just the desire to sit outside and enjoy the performance with other good people. The sunshine does bring out the best in London and the atmosphere at these events is congenial. Children get together and play while parents watch on.  For an only child this is a great opportunity to practice social skills amongst peers that are not available at home.  This kind of relaxed, outdoor life is what I love best about being in the U.K., truly summer at its best.  

The school organised a stay-and-play session a couple of weeks ago.  We thought it was a brilliant idea as it was a relaxed way to introduce Baby to a new environment.  As far as he was concerned he was going for a play session at big school.  When we arrived, we saw the current crop school children on their way out for a day at the beach for their school summer outing.  Baby was naturally excited and looked really pleased as he said he might be going with them another time. The teachers made a good effort of laying the room out nicely so the kids, who would be in the same class come September, just took their time to explore different parts of the classroom, meeting and engaging with other children and eventually settling in to little groups to play while the parents chatted amongst themselves and with the teacher and teaching assistants.  Baby enjoyed himself so much he didn't want to go.  All in all a good introduction to school life. We were invite...

So the third thing we tackled was school uniform.  I know this school year isn't even over yet but I reckoned that very few people would be ordering uniforms right now and we would probably have them delivered with little trauma.  We had the uniform list from the school so why not?  The items did arrive a lot sooner than the confirmation email said so I think our assumption was probably right.  We also thought that it would be an idea to get Baby acquainted with the different items of clothing so that he would be able to change in to and out of things at PE.  We had fun going through the pile of clothes and putting name tags on them.  Baby is getting very excited about Big School and seeig the school bags, book bags, and uniform items with his name on them- the same items he has seen other kids wearing to school in the morning- has made him even more excited.  No doubt we will have more practice sessions over the weeks to come.  We decided to lea...

It might be because the days are getting longer and it is getting lighter earlier, I woke up at 4 this morning raring to go out for a run. I have always liked running but have not had time to do much since Baby arrived- there was always something to do in the flat. However, I have recently taken to running in the morning at the weekends and have found that I am performing much better as a person, much more like I was before everything in life appeared to be thrown at me at high speed and I was just coping. I have no complaints about having a child- he has enriched our lives in ways I could never have imagined before him. We did give up some things because our time was at a premium and I gave up being me a little. I guess I worried that he needed me all the time when in actual fact that makes no sense at all. He is asleep at the moment and his dad is with him so there is no reason for me to sit in the living room in case he wakes up. I don't quite understand why I thought that was...

I thought about the pros and cons of home-schooling a little as I know someone who has been home-schooling her twins and her and kids really love it.  It requires effort on the part of the parents but education can be a lot more dynamic than a school-based system and it can increase the strength of family bonds.  The prospects of spending as much time as possible with Baby before he leaves the nest was very appealing.  I didn't take it further than just thinking about it as a possibility: what would I do with myself, without a career, when Baby leaves home?  This article in the Guardian brought back the thought processes from those days, and reminded me that things can be done differently even if we were to undertake only parts of the elements that people use for home schooling on an ad hoc basis. 

As mentioned in my previous post, I did a sweep of the internet to look at things we need to prepare Baby for in the run up to starting primary school.  Other than preparing him for a new environment (which I will discuss in a later post), there were a number of practical skills that were consistently highlighted as useful to have for children starting school.  I have mentioned in a previous post that being able to handle a packed lunch was considered useful so we have started practicing using sandwich boxes, thermal lunch boxes, etc.  We frame it as a fun activity like going to a picnic so it doesn't feel too contrived. Another thing that may be useful is being able to change into their PE kit at school.  Baby can change in to and out of trousers, pants, socks and shoes but he sometimes still struggles with putting a top on and he isn't very good with buttons so we will need to work on these actions before he starts school.  Practice makes perfect and the on...

I did a web search on preparations for first day of primary school and now have a 'To Do' list.  Helping him prepare for school lunch was the first task I chose to tackle. Baby's primary school will not provide school lunches so we will need to pack hot/cold lunches daily.  Cold lunches are fairly straightforward to prepare but hot lunches may be a bit more problematic.  Aside from the time required to cook the meal, the food needs to be transported in containers that can keep food warm till lunch time, i.e. for about 4-6 hours from packing time.  It will take some planning and a fair bit of discipline to keep on top of the cooking but it should be do-able. A quick search on the internet led to a haul of potential lunch box fillers. It also revealed that, apparently, not all thermal lunch boxes actually keep food warm and price is not a reliable indicator of functionality.  I spent a fair few nights looking for something that would match our requirements: the ...

I haven't posted on this blog for a while.  Life has been busy and there hasn't been much time to record any thoughts and experiences.  Baby will be starting school in September this year and  I have been doing a fair bit of reading in the last 8 months or so to prepare for this. In the U.K. it is a legal requirement for children to be in school in the school term after they turn 5.  As the start of the school year is normally in September, a fair number of children start school at the age of 4.  It is possible to defer entry till the child turns 5 but, as it is advantageous for the child to start with the rest of the year group so that s/he has time to bond with the other children, most parents choose for the child to start earlier rather than later.  There are studies indicating that children who start too young are generally less able to cope with academic demands and that this early disadvantage is likely to hamper their learning for life.  Thes...

Right at almost 4 Baby is really no longer a baby and I think of him more and more as a little boy rather than a toddler these days.  We started potty training about 2 years ago and the potty now lies unused in the bathroom as he tends to prefer using the toilet- in fact he has always preferred the toilet and had only deigned to use the potty when the toilet is occupied by someone else.  He also refused to use the training seat as we don't use it.  We realised quite early on that the impulse to copy us was quite strong so we used that as an incentive to encourage him during potty training.  The side effect of that, I suppose, was that he preferred 1) the toilet to the potty and 2) that he wanted to stand up for weeing like daddy.  Both good things and I am glad that it all happened without too much trauma.  As was reported all over the web and in help books, he was much quicker at learning to go to the loo to poo than to wee.  We did always ask him re...