Clarity comes from the most unusual of circumstances

Sometimes clarity comes from the most unusual of circumstances.  One of my job roles is to help students who find themselves in difficulties- either emotionally or academically.  The idea is that I talk through the issues with the students and offer practical help (counselling, financial advice, study skills workshops, etc) either myself or by signposting to services offered by my institution, so that the problems are resolved and the students can get back on track with their studies.  In speaking with the students I sometimes catch myself thinking, well I say that to them but I manage to practise what I preach?  In some ways talking to the students, and reflecting on my own experiences, has helped me understand myself a bit better and focus my mind on how best to handle problems that I encounter.

One example is friendships.  I listen to the stories of conflict between friends making life at university difficult and find myself thinking well if the relationship has become so toxic that everything else in life seems to be adversely affected by it, isn't it better to walk away and hopefully find some peace of mind?  The fact is sometimes people grow apart and, painful though it may be, it might be better to let go rather than to struggle to maintain the semblance of a friendship.  Easier said than done as there is often a lot of emotional ties and baggage, but that does not detract from the fact that sometimes we need to let go.  I write this now with ease on this page knowing that, should it be me experiencing the drifting apart, I will be upset and want to come up with ways to salvage the friendship.  And so it is with all sorts of things that we feel attached to, not just people.

So I guess it is a good thing to be kind to people in need of some kindness.  In the end we may help ourselves as well through the experience.